With the downturn in the economy, the workload in my profession has also reduced substantially.  I've always loved math and science which is why I went into engineering, but I'm getting to the point where I don't really want to keep having a traditional day job, but I don't feel qualified for anything else other than being a mom.  The kicker is that I was diagnosed with severely low vitamin D levels which causes similar symptoms as depression (minus the suicide).  VERY HELPFUL.  So not only do I have no work, but the work I do have I can't find the motivation to get done. 

What do I have the motivation to do?  My home passions...  I love planning out our meals and finding new recipes to try that I think my kids and hubby will like, but there are a lot of people out there who are better at it than me when it comes to mainstream money-making abilities.  Same with travel planning - I love getting travel books and going online to find places to take my family for hiking and adventures, but I have no real desire to do it for other people and I can't imagine the travel agent position is all that lucrative right now.  I used to design websites, but my technical know-how is incredibly outdated.  I have fun tinkering around with websites, but there's no application outside of my own musings for it.  My family is my current passion, but there's no money in it unless I become the next Pioneer Woman.  But I never wore black heels and there are no tractor wheels around here.  I did well in English through school and I'm good at technical writing, but there are many people out there that are better.  So what do I do?  Create a stream-of-consciousness entry on my blog and know that even if no one reads this, at least I have a place where I can share my views and have my quirks and be my freaky engineer self.  I'm a geek and always have been and I love to read the thoughts of other geeks.  (Twitter is SO not helping me stay focused as I follow the tweets of Adam Savage, Wil Wheaton, Weird Al, Paul and Storm, and the list goes on.)  W00tstock is coming to Seattle and I have my tickets even if I haven't told my husband I'm going yet - and dragging him with me.  I was lucky enough to have a dad that encouraged me to be a geek, but that only gets me so far.  I don't want to be a famous geek, I just want to be someone who can make money doing something they love and I happen to be good at being nerdy.

I feel like I'm totally in the internet generation, but at the same time that I don't have a place on the internet.  I'm really done with Facebook, and I'm not about to go on a hunt to find people to follow me on Twitter because I'm not that prolific or witty.  Instead I spend my time making spreadsheets for endless things around the house and making my husband shake his head at how geeky I am.  But I'm not geeky enough to make a living at it.  Where is my place in the interwebs?  I'm not sure, but I sure as heck am having a fun time seeing how other people have found their place in the world.


03/02/2010 14:58

Keep searching! It's out there! I don't know how I know, but I promise!

04/29/2010 10:31

And a pretty geek to boot...I think you know you must continue to pursue your various gifts while you keep your family priorities straight and trust that as you excel in the areas where your giftng and expertise lie you will find your niche.
best wishes to you.


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